Written by Jon Sept. 3, 2011

Our Sorrow... One year later.

by Jon Klubnik on Saturday, September 3, 2011 at 4:20am

Today, one year ago, Tiffany and I were looking forward to the arrival of our twin boys.  We had no names yet, but we had so many dreams.  On the way back to the airport after vacationing in Colorado, we stopped by the hospital to check out a discomfort that Tiffany had been feeling. We thought we would just stop by for a quick visit and be cleared for the flight home. 

The doctors did an ultrasound on the boys and they looked great. We were encouraged. 

Then they examined my wife to find out that she was actually experiencing premature labor.  A life flight helicopter was called and she was taken to a special high risk hospital.  Five days of waiting led to the realization that the labor was caused by an infection that was incurable for the boys and would soon threaten my wife.  Her labor must be allowed to continue.

Michael David and Jake Thomas were born Sept 7, 2010 and they each lived an hour. 

I can't even begin to share with you what that hour felt like.  We kissed each of them, we held them.  We sang Jesus loves me.  We prayed... and we said good bye.

I wish I could tell you I understand why this happened.  After one year, I have more questions.  They say that at some point we will "make peace" with these things that have happened.  I'm not there yet.  It still hurts.

This past year has been a very long winter season in our home.  We have been ministered to by some wonderful friends.  We have met others who have shared our heartache.  It has stretched our relationship nearly to the point of breaking.  Our journey is not yet complete.

The one thing I have is hope. Hope that God is faithful. I believe that more than ever.  Even in the midst of all of this, I believe it.

Right now all I can taste are bitter tears

Right now all I can see are clouds of sorrow

From the other side of all this grief

Is that you I hear, laughing loud

Calling out to me

See, its everything you said that it would be

And even better than you would believe

He’ll wipe every tear from our eyes

And make everything new just like He promised

Wait and see

Just wait and see

Wait and see

My hope is that some day in heaven, two young men will come up to me and say "Hi Dad".  I can hardly wait.